We humans are obsessed with wanting to know and explain everything. We want to have answers to everything. We label and categorise things, even people, and put them into neat little "boxes". Often, we try and answer questions we know nothing about. We act as if we are experts on every topic.
But there are many things we can’t explain!
Many fundamental questions remain unanswered, way beyond today’s scientific methods. Why are we here? What’s the purpose of life? What happens to us after we die? What’s consciousness? Are we alone in the universe? These are some of the oldest questions humankind has been trying to answer.
While there’s nothing wrong with asking questions and explaining things, our desire to explain EVERYTHING can be very limiting. And we often do it in a way that is consistent with our OWN personal worldview. We try and explain the unexplainable. Or we do the opposite and reject things because we can’t explain or define them. We shy away from many things just because they are hard to explain or understand.
Why do we do this? Why do we try and explain everything? Or put things into the "too hard" basket?
We humans don’t like uncertainty or the unknown. Not being able to explain something creates stress and anxiety. We become fearful if we don’t have the answers to life’s big, or small, questions. Explaining things gives us a sense of control. It helps us feel safe and secure in our comfort-zone.
But there’s a catch!
Staying in our comfort-zone can be very restrictive, locking us into a "box" of self-imposed limitations. We become set in our ways. We stop asking questions, exploring new opportunities, and learning new skills. Staying in our comfort-zone may feel safe, but it keeps us stagnant. Stepping into the unknown, out of our comfort-zone, can be scary. But there’s immense value in not knowing – and having an open mind. Being open-minded gives as an appreciation for things we can’t explain. It helps us embrace the unknown.
Looking back, I have always been open to new experiences, especially when they stretch me both mentally and emotionally. From exploring new places and meeting different people to working in unique and challenging places – even in prisons. I have always had an interest in challenging workplaces. So, working as a prison counsellor was a great fit for me. And I often reflect on my work behind bars. Witnessing confronting situations was not easy. But working in prison helped me to examine my own beliefs and values and approach new experiences with an open mind.
I learned a lot about myself!
And I learned a lot about human behaviour. I was curious. How do people end up in prison? What drives them to make certain choices in life? Why do they do the things they do? And why do people continue making poor decisions? I tried to answer these and many other difficult questions. I tried to unlock the mysteries of the human mind.
But there were no simple answers or explanations. People are much more complex than their behaviour. I started to view the world, and people, through a different lens. It became easier for me to consider alternative ways of thinking. Of course, this didn’t mean that I excused aggression and violence. No, but I tried to stay open-minded to the experiences of others, without labelling people or putting them into a certain "box".
Now, years later, I continue seeking out things I can’t explain or understand. I explore ideas and topics I haven’t considered before. I ask "what if" questions to spark my imagination. Becoming a more open-minded person is not easy and requires ongoing practice. It involves being curious, asking questions, and stepping out of our comfort-zone. Often, we are not as open-minded as we think we are. It’s hard to see ourselves objectively.
So, do you think you are open-minded?
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Clinical Supervisor & Mental Fitness Facilitator