There are signs that indicate you are growing as a person. But often, it’s hard to see them as they are so subtle. One of the clearest signs of personal growth is when you are scared. Scared...but excited! You are ready to step out of your comfort-zone.
While being in your comfort-zone feels safe, it's limiting. It keeps you stagnant.
But when there's that feeling of excitement, something bubbling inside of you... you are ready to take the first step. Of course, embarking on something new can be daunting. Whether it’s leaving a job or a relationship, learning a new skill, or meeting new people, stepping out of your comfort-zone often triggers feelings of uncertainty and nervousness, even fear. But it’s one of the best ways to build confidence and increase resilience.
As a therapist, I meet people who appear satisfied with their lives. They say they are happy and comfortable. But appearances can be deceiving. Scratch the surface, and a different story emerges. Behind the facade there’s often unhappiness. Discontent. But they are unable – or unwilling – to leave their comfort-zones.
Because it's scary!
Yes, stepping out into the unknown can be stressful and intimidating, but there’s no growth without discomfort. It's a catalyst for personal transformation... a sign that we are evolving.
Stepping out of the comfort zone doesn’t mean taking unnecessary risks and throwing caution to the wind. It's important to set achievable goals. And break them down into smaller, manageable steps. Often, people set goals that are too big. And when they don’t see results fast enough, they give up. By setting achievable goals and taking small, consistent steps, we create a strong foundation for lasting results.
Often too, it's easy to get caught up in small setbacks and lose motivation. Problems seem much bigger than they actually are. Why? Because we are too close to them. "When in doubt, zoom out", as the saying goes. Taking a moment to zoom out makes it easier to see the bigger picture, stay on track, and just keep going.
Seeing the bigger picture is also one of the core principles of Stoic philosophy.
I often incorporate Stoic wisdom into my daily life, especially when navigating challenging situations. Instead of focusing too much on one, minor part of the problem, I broaden my perspective. Stepping back gives me more clarity and helps me to remember what really matters in the long run.
It is also important to stop and reflect on our achievements. Growth happens slowly and can be hard to see. Often, we only see it in hindsight. Taking time to look back and see how far we have come is incredibly powerful. Danish philosopher and existential thinker Søren Kierkegaard once said, "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
Reflecting on the past helps us move forward in life.
If you are yet to step out of your comfort-zone, I invite you to pause and reflect on one area of your life that you might have outgrown. It could be a job, a relationship, a place, or an unhealthy behaviour pattern. Perhaps it’s time for something new in your life?
I hope you aren't comfortably unhappy...without even realising it!
Eila Mikkonen
Counsellor, Clinical Supervisor & Mental Fitness Facilitator